


a dark world aches for a splash of the sun

by AliuIce0814



Series: cough syrup [1]
Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Bruce is not in a good place mentally, Gen, References to Suicide, Suicide, dummy tries, more writing at night, tony does stuff for charity, tony should not leave bruce alone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-19
Updated: 2012-11-19
Packaged: 2017-11-19 01:10:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/567336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AliuIce0814/pseuds/AliuIce0814
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony should never have left Bruce alone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	a dark world aches for a splash of the sun

**Author's Note:**

> BRUCE IS NOT IN A GOOD PLACE MENTALLY. PLEASE, PLEASE DON'T READ THIS IF IT WILL MAKE YOU FEEL WORSE.

Everything in Bruce’s world was one long, mindless ache.

Tony had been gone for two weeks, off doing whatever billionaire playboy philanthropists did for charity. Bruce had been invited along. He always was, and he always said no. He couldn’t. Planes? Trains? Cabs? All of those held too much danger for the people around Bruce. He already had to let the Other Guy smash New York City on a weekly basis for the greater good. He couldn’t put people at risk just to have a good time with Tony. 

Stupid Tony. Well, not stupid, just—amazingly stubborn and too brilliant for his own good. Worse than Bruce, even. Tony Stark was what Bruce longed to be. No consequences? That sounded like heaven. Tony could poke Bruce with an electric prod, fly a nuke into space, and put palladium in his chest—

\--and, oh, Bruce had yelled at him once he’d heard about that, actually yelled until he’d caught a glimpse of himself in a computer screen and noticed the green in his eyes. When he’d tried to apologize, Tony had smirked and clapped a hand on his shoulder. “Hey, that was pretty impressive. What were your heart rates there? No transformation? We need to run some more tests on you, Big Guy”—

No consequences for Tony. He just couldn’t seem to die. He could get close, sure, and did so frequently, but no matter how much he drank or how many lines he crossed, Tony Stark just couldn’t die.  
Well. Maybe he and Bruce were more alike than Bruce had thought. Still, Bruce thought that if Tony slid a gun in his mouth and pulled the trigger, brain death would be instantaneous. 

Bruce had been dancing around that thought for two weeks. 

Dogs helped a little. Tony wouldn’t let him have one—well, Tony would probably buy him fifty if Bruce mentioned that he wanted one, but Bruce sensed that Stark Tower was strictly pet-free. In lieu of a dog, Bruce had Dummy for a shadow. The robot seemed to like Bruce well enough, and wasn’t that just a Tony Stark move, building emotional robots? Maybe it was because Bruce didn’t threaten to melt Dummy down or sell him for scrap metal. Instead, he found himself littering the robot with praise. It took him a week and a half to train it and its robot brethren to be of any use in his laboratory. They were more used to hunks of metal than glass pipettes. At least they kept Bruce mildly amused, though. At least Tony had an endless supply of glass pipettes in Bruce’s closet.

When the shards of one pipette cut Bruce’s finger, though, he cursed. “Fuck, Dummy, get the hazmat—no, God, I’m sorry. Go plug yourself in, please, go away, go—” Bruce slid to the floor, curling around himself. The tile felt cool beneath his forehead. He tried to focus on that instead of the toxic sludge seeping from his fingertip or the pulse pounding in his ears. It was too close, too close. He shouldn’t have been so close. Always angry, he was always angry, so he had to be in control.

By the time Bruce calmed down, his cut had stopped bleeding. He exhaled slowly, feeling his breath fog on the floor. When he sat up, his arms and legs trembled. He wasn’t green at all, not yet. He just felt empty. Numb.

Bruce thought about mountains, a cave. Someplace quiet and dark. Someplace where no one walked. Somewhere his blood couldn’t poison people. Someplace Tony wouldn’t find.

Bruce tasted metal in his mouth. He thought about trying again.

**Author's Note:**

> I was Bruce a few weeks ago (oh, hell, I'm always Bruce, I just have more good days than he does because I'm not big and green). It is late. I'm not sure what I'm writing anymore. You have been warned.


End file.
